


Liquid Courage

by TheMetaphysical



Category: GOT7
Genre: Drunken Confessions, Karaoke, M/M, Soft Mark, angsty, angsty mark is my favorite mark, softish?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2019-07-16 03:06:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16077059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMetaphysical/pseuds/TheMetaphysical
Summary: Mark finally gets his feelings off his chest.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to revisit this and jazz it up a bit. I added a lot more background between character relationships and Mark's characterization.

At the karaoke bar, Mark was trying not to let his feelings get the best of him. He was sitting opposite Jackson in the circular wrap-around booth, staring hard. He had learned to quell his lust for Jackson over time, but the alcohol in his bloodstream wasn't helping tonight. But tonight was no ordinary night. Tonight was the night where Mark could cease his constant pining and let his feelings be known, but it wasn't without sacrifice.

Jackson had told Mark he wasn't a virgin when they first met. Mark didn't like it, but he wasn't surprised. Jackson was good looking and had a great personality, of course, people would be attracted to him, hell, Mark was.

Watching Jackson glom onto Jinyoung and mouth  _ “Wang gae Park gae” _ to him was stirring up Mark’s jealousy. Mark was a jealous person, he couldn't help it. He didn't like the thought of anyone ever being with Jackson, past or present. Sure, Mark had dated a girl or two in high school or middle school, but it was never anything serious. He was trying to pass as straight then anyways. But his love for Jackson was starting to affect his relationship with Jinyoung. The “Wang gae Park gae” date and concept was infuriating. Mark knew Jinyoung wasn’t interested in Jackson at all, but he also wasn't completely straight, and besides JB, Mark was the only other teammate that knew. Still, Mark didn't want Jinyoung to have a bond like that with Jackson. Truthfully, Mark didn’t want anyone besides himself to have a bond like that with Jackson. It was terribly selfish and he knew it, but that was just the way he felt. He was getting to the point where he was constantly disgusted with himself and couldn’t stop his emotions from interfering with the group dynamic; that was why Mark had resolved today was the day he would do something about this.

Mark had been drinking since they arrived, and it was two hours they were there. Seven drinks with Mark’s smaller build and lackadaisical drinking habits meant he was far past tipsy. He could feel the change in his body just sitting.  _ Good _ , he thought. It was what he needed to give him the confidence to confess.

He had been testing his vision by watching the lyrics on the screen as Yugyeom sang. When he could barely read the words, he knew he was ready. His gaze slowly returned to Jackson who was leaning into Jinyoung, whispering into his ear. What was worse was Jinyoung wasn’t typically annoyed or nonchalant, but actually... _ nervous _ ..? It was hard to tell, Mark was so drunk. Mark’s face softened and he wanted to cry. He’d spent many an agonizing night debating his fate with Jackson and Jinyoung and their ill-defined love-triangle. He loved Jinyoung and the way he appreciated the things Mark did. And he didn’t want to have these nasty possessive thoughts about Jackson, but there was something so charismatic and valuable about Jackson that made Mark want to steal Jackson away from the world and keep him for himself.

Mark sucked the tears up, forcing himself to face his fears, and made his way over to Jackson. He obviously, drunkenly, put a hand on Jackson’s shoulder and asked him to come with him to the bathroom.

Jackson stood up, saying something else to Jinyoung Mark couldn’t quite hear, and Mark began to feel nauseous from nerves and the liquor. That little parting remark was messing with his head. It would hurt if Jackson rejected him, but it would hurt even more if Jackson rejected him for someone else in the group. There was a time when Mark thought that Jackson might have liked him, but that was years ago, and he was too afraid to do anything then. But that meant nothing because Mark couldn’t trust his instincts. There were many times where he was sure Jackson liked each member at some point, circling through them individually. The thought of Mark being disposable to Jackson caused him to project and hate Jackson for being so outgoing a nonselective. Jackbam nearly broke his heart.

He was really the opposite of Mark, and Mark figured that was why he was found Jackson to be so charming. Unlike Jackson, mutual exclusivity didn’t exist for Mark. Mark focused his energy on one person at one time and gave that person everything, and he didn’t show it with words nor actions. Mark’s very nature was subtlety. When GOT7 had officially banded and Mark was affronted with Jackson’s divergent personality, he couldn’t believe someone this bright and shiny could exist. Especially when Jackson favored Mark in the beginning and chose to room with him did Mark misunderstand Jackson’s preference for him to be like Mark’s preference for Jackson. But he was wrong. Jackson didn’t just stick to one person and devote himself to them, he chose many and devoted himself to many. Mark had to learn the hard way that not everyone showed their love the same way he did. 

Now, tonight, Mark was sure that Jackson had long moved on from him and likely cared for Jinyoung, all a better and worse reason to confess. 

Jackson and Mark always had a special little bond deriving from their Chinese heritage, which Mark was exploiting now to get Jackson to leave the karaoke room with him.

“Mark,” Jackson pronounced his name the Chinese way and continued in Chinese. “Are you gonna throw up? I saw you drinking a lot. Nervous about the release?” He teased Mark, but Mark was at least glad to know that Jackson had been paying attention to him tonight.

“I don’t know,” Mark mumbled, his stomach churning, burning.

Jackson guided Mark to the bathroom with a hand on his back. If Mark was sober, his heart would be beating and his skin would be prickly with goosebumps. But the alcohol was sedating him and his anxiety. He tripped on the doorframe of the entrance to the men’s room, and Jackson caught him steadying him.

“Wow, you’re never like this,” Jackson said in disbelief and amazement.

_ This is it,  _ Mark thought. He leaned a hand against the sink and Jackson for support. “Gaga.” He was looking at the sink, immense fear, and numbness from the alcohol running in and out of his mind. “I love you.” Mark was grateful he had a baseball cap on to shield his eyes because he was sure he would cry again. He wasn’t expecting Jackson to say he loved him, but he did know he didn’t want to be flat out rejected. “I’m sorry, just...don’t talk.”

Mark had been shielding his face with the brim of his hat this whole time and snuck his hand underneath it to rub some of the tears out of his eyes. Now that his big confession was technically over, he was feeling tired and his adrenaline boost was wearing thin, the alcohol now just making him feel sluggish. Right now, he was scared and sad, but maybe tomorrow the cathartic release he had been yearning for would finally be his.

Mark felt Jackson grab his shoulders and look at him under the brim of his hat. Mark stared back through pink, tear-stained eyes. Jackson stared for a few more seconds and Mark was praying nothing bad would happen come tonight or tomorrow. He hoped this would be the last time he felt so selfish and foolish for ever feeling this way when it had the potential to ruin their friendship and the group. Perhaps the only gift Mark could accredit his subtlety for giving him was how well he could mask his feelings. He had been cool and collected on the surface, but underneath his calm and quiet facade was always an emotional battle. The look on Jackson’s face convinced Mark that Jackson had been fooled by him too.

Still staring at Mark, Jackson wiped a thumb over the right side of Mark’s face to absorb half the tears. He wrapped Mark in a hug, confusing him.

_ Aren’t I gross? _ He questioned, his self-consciousness taking over. No, he knew Jackson wasn’t like that. He was probably just trying to comfort a friend. Mark gave in and returned the hug, crying harder onto his shoulder.

“I love you, we all love you,” Jackson spoke softly.

Mark would have laughed if he wasn’t so sad. “That’s not what I meant,” he blubbered. So this was it, the gentle rejection he needed.

Jackson didn't speak for a moment, then said seriously, quietly. “I know what you meant.” He paused. “You’re braver than me...confessing first.”

Mark pulled back, stunned. “You...” He searched Jackson’s face for the smallest hint of a joke, finding nothing. Jackson was wearing a slight smile, he was calm, but the beer goggles couldn't discern much else.

“Yeah.”

And that one syllable confirmation was all Jackson had to say. Overjoyed, Mark kissed him immediately, hard and a lot and Jackson kissed him back.

“Wo ai ni, Gaga, wo ai ni,” Mark gasped the words in between smothering Jackson with kisses, the alcohol and years of desperation, making him more talkative, and expressive. The multitude of ‘ _ wo ai ni _ ’s Mark bestowed upon Jackson would not normally erupt from his mouth when sober. The multitude of ‘ _ wo ai ni _ ’s Mark bestowed upon Jackson was more ‘ _ wo ai ni _ ’s than all the Chinese aghases had told Jackson combined.

“Mark,” Jackson began, trying to escape Mark’s torrent of kisses and affection. “Maybe here isn't the best place.”

“What?” Mark wasn’t listening. He was too glad to be with Jackson like this.

“Someone could see us.” Jackson stepped back for a moment holding Mark’s arms away from him, trying to figure out where they should move. But as soon as he pulled away, Mark followed and clung to him again.

“Gaga, where are you going?” Mark breathed into Jackson’s ear, biting his cheek. He was so glad he told him, so glad he could hold him like this. Mark felt Jackson wrap his arms around his back, and he hugged Jackson back too, not realizing Jackson was lifting him up and carrying him to the nearest bathroom stall.

When he was set down, Mark tripped backward a little, but eventually plopped down on the seat. For a moment, his mind wondered how and why he was there, but that all disappeared when he felt Jackson’s hands on his face and his lips bend down to meet Mark's.

“Mark, wo ai ni.” It was the first time Jackson said it this evening.

This was enough. This was all Mark had ever really wanted, his Gaga to love him back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not the smuttier follow up I promised, because Mark is too drunk for heavy consensual sex and too drunk to perform well, and honestly, it reflects too clearly.

Mark was feeling great, the alcohol was boosting his good feelings, and so was Jackson kissing him simultaneously. He was still too drunk to do much of anything, so Jackson was holding his head up as they kissed, doing most of the work. 

Mark was too shy to say it out loud, but he really would have done anything for Jackson; and, he wanted to make him feel good, show him how much he loved him, how much he desired him. Mark slid his hands onto Jackson’s thighs. Any other time, his hands wouldn't have moved from there, but now Mark allowed his hands to do what they wanted; they moved up, then back to grope Jackson's butt, then back and abs. His hands lingered there for a moment, fingertips memorizing the muscle definition, memorizing Jackson’s form. Mark slowly moved down again and hovered around Jackson’s privates. Mark was too drunk to unzip the zipper without looking. His left hand rested on the outside of Jackson’s jeans, while his right hand dipped into Jackson’s waistband. All he could think about was how he was how much more he wanted to touch Jackson.

Jackson was still kissing him, but Mark wanted to touch him more. His own dick was hardening and while he loved Jackson’s kisses, he wanted to see and feel Jackson’s dick too.

Jackson broke off the kiss and Mark aimed his eyes at the target his hands were holding.

“Gaga,” Mark was struggling with Jackson's pants, but Jackson moved Mark's hands away and redid his pant button, opening the stall door and exiting.

“Gaga!” Mark said again, a bit desperately.  _ Where was he going? _

“Mark, we’re leaving.”

_ What? Why did he stop?  _

“C'mon,” Jackson took Mark's hand and pulled him up, off the toilet and out of the bathroom. He was still holding Mark's hand as they were walking back to the karaoke room where the rest of the group could be heard. 

_ We're going back, because...he didn't like it? _ Mark stumbled along after Jackson, his heart in a standstill. He didn't know what was going on with Jackson. Jackson was still holding his hand as he stood halfway in the door talking to the other members. His body was shielding Mark, so the other members couldn't see Mark and he couldn't see them. Jackson was flexing his fingers in the hand that Mark held as he spoke, and Mark thought he wanted to let go. Was their moment of romance now over, their relationship only amicable again? Mark tried to release his hand, but Jackson held on tight, not letting Mark escape.  _ Why is he doing this?  _ Mark felt that Jackson was being unfair, unclear. He was very drunk and had no idea what was happening.

Jackson's head popped out and he was pulling Mark towards the exit, then into the car. “Jackson-" Mark tried again, even more confused with the second scenery change in a few minutes. 

“We're going home.”

“Why?” Mark asked softly.

“Why do you think?”

Mark sighed, confused and frustrated. “...I don't know what you're saying.”

“I rather have sex at home than in the bathroom stall of a karaoke bar.”

_ Oh…  _ Mark breathed again after processing his words. So Jackson still wanted him? In a few seconds, Mark’s anxiety washed away, and he felt sure again that Jackson loved him. He looked over to the driver’s side amorously, after noticing that Jackson was still holding his hand while driving. Mark still wanted to touch Jackson. All these years of pining, and he only got to kiss Jackson for less than two minutes...Mark needed more reassurance. He reached across the car and touched Jackson's neck, then hair. “Gaga…”

Jackson bit his lip, trying to concentrate. “Yeah?”

“Wo ai ni.”

And since time moves quickly when one is drunk, they had arrived back home as Mark told Jackson he loved him again. Jackson helped him out of the car and let Mark lean on him so he didn't fall on his face.

Now that Mark was so close to Jackson’s face again, he leaned into him and kissed his cheek.

“Tuan Yien,” Jackson warned. “We're not inside.”

But Mark wasn't listening. “Gaga,” he whispered, biting Jackson's ear, kissing his hair, his neck.

Jackson was practically running to the elevator. He didn't want a scandal, but he also wasn't going to push Mark off of him for the sake of saving face.

Mark was all over Jackson, from the elevator to the room. He was facing Jackson in the elevator, arms around his neck, pecking his lips sweetly and smiling. His hands came up to ruffle Jackson's hair, then came to rest, cupping his face.

Jackson was the soberest, therefore he had to be the most responsible. Mark was too drunk and blissfully in love to care about anything but the now, and Jackson's mind was on more explicit matters taking place in the very near future. As much as he wanted to placate Mark’s sweet affections at the moment, he was more interested in the lustful affections they would share as soon as they walked into Mark’s apartment. 

When the elevator dinged at the correct floor, Jackson lifted Mark’s legs up, and Mark screeched playfully, holding on tightly to Jackson as Jackson ran down the hall to Mark’s room.

Once inside, Jackson dumped Mark and himself on the bed. Jackson was strong, but carrying another person for 50 meters would tire anyone out.

Mark giggled on the bed, rolling around. He grabbed Jackson by the collar and dragged him closer. “Gaga,” he smiled, still laughing drunkenly.

“Gaga, Gaga, that’s all you say...” Jackson mumbled to himself.

On the next utterance of ‘Gaga’ did Jackson finally shut Mark up with a kiss. Mark was riding his wave of good feelings, and now sensations. Jackson was taking Mark’s clothes off because Mark was incapable. Jackson held Mark’s face as they kissed, while he used his other hand to rub Mark through his underwear. “What do you want me to do, Mark?”

“Whatever you want,” Mark breathed, too drunk, too focused on the sensations in and around his underwear to talk.

“Whatever I want?” Jackson’s hands scaled up Mark’s abdomen and settled on his chest, his nipples.

“Yeah,” Mark gasped. Jackson kissed him again, harder, messier, now freeing Mark’s dick from his underwear and initiating skin-to-skin contact.

“ _ Ah _ -Gaga-" but Jackson shut him up again. He was stroking Mark’s dick. Mark was breathing hard ready to come, and he didn't hold himself back, exploding on Jackson's hand and his own chest. Mark almost passed out, shuddering on the bed while Jackson sucked on his neck. “ _ Gaga...”  _ Mark whined.

“Mark,” Jackson grunted, freeing his own dick from his pants. Mark would have wanted to return the favor, but he was just too intoxicated from the alcohol and his post-coitus high to do anything but lay there panting. Jackson gasped from the contact as Mark tried and failed to impress him. He let Mark give up and finished the job himself.

Afterward, Jackson wiped them down, then hugged Mark’s naked body to him. Mark felt whole, complete, and truthfully “okay” for the first time in a long time. Mark moved away from Jackson’s neck to say one more thing before he blacked out. Threading his hands through Jackson’s hair and staring deeply into his eyes, Mark said: “wo ai ni.”


End file.
